Woody’s World: Still A Vacuum of Depressing Nothingness

Get Wide!

I was watching this, Woody Paige’s thoughts on Alexander “Sasha” Artemev’s, a Colorado Native’s winning of a bronze medel, and it reminded me of a few things:

– Woody Paige sitting their, no production value as we’ve touched on before, is boring

– As he continually tries to say Alexander “Sasha” Artemev(I don’t know how to spell it but that’s how he said it)

– His “sign off” of “I’m Woody Paige, and I’ll see you in the sports pages” is up there with “Here’s Johnny” and “Rectum, Damn Near Killed Em'”

 

http://videocenter.denverpost.com/services/link/bcpid1480107696/bclid1481452837/bctid1726720362

Actual Quote From An Actual Friend

I been shaked

“I’m laying in the park on my lunch break dreaming of a life that doesn’t so closely resemble hell”

Can It Be Done?!!??!

I need your help people.  Can it be done?  Most girls these days like Abercrombie wearing, hair that you cant stop staring, and popped collars that knock your socks off.  I would think they would want a guy who could eat 5 big macs. 

The time limit? Still TBD.  I told my friend Paul I could nom nom nom them in about 20 minutes, and he said he would pay me 50 bucks.  I have not trained for this, but I think if I have the right state of mind it could be done.  Paul also said he would pay for price of big macs (approx 15 dollars) and 50 more if I could do it.  But as I said I need to know how much time I could get?  Okay Fair Pole readers (that’s 20 of you) please comment on the chances of this happening!!!

YES WE CAN!!!

5….5 freaking biggggg macs (in the tune of the subway 5 dollar foot longs)

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