Actual Breaking News Headlines from ESPN NEWS

“Rafael Nadal wins Wimbledon”… Cool

“Casey Khame docked 150 points for equipment malfunction”…What? Nascar?

“Brett Favre requests release from Packers”…NO WAY!

“Brett Favre orders Turkey sandwich instead receives Ham”…MONSTERS!!!

“Tampa Bay loses 7th game in a row”…Devil Rays or Rays?

“Philadelphia Soul advances to Arena Bowl XXII”…22??? Say Whaaaa!

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Arena Bowl

Arena Bowl is finally here thank god. It is the 22nd bowl, ok I will just stop here. 22? 22 of these things? I will pay someone literally one thousand dollars if they know the last three winners. i think the Crush may have one once, I mean I live in Colorado and am still not entirely sure.

If you bought season tickets to the Crush this year, you got a free John Elway autographed Crush Jersey. Since the autograph was on a Crush jersey the value actually went down on the autograph. If I had a choice to watch the Arena Bowl or Patriots vs Colts, and it was a scrimmage, and it was entirely made up of Pats and Colts fans, and it was two hand touch, I pick the Colts-Pats game hands down. And No, I am far from kidding.

Listening to Jaws try to pimp up his Philadelphia team was nails on a chalkboard. I am not even going to tell you when the game is and who is in it, because frankly you shouldn’t be watching, and If I catch you watching, I will go Freddy Kruger on your ass.

I am Wes Welker!

I am Wes Welker!