Not So Fast “HERO”

Michael Phelps is not human. In fact he is a fish. Breaking news out of China has determined that Phelps’ has had sex with 412312 females and 3 males. How’d the males get involved? Don’t ask.

If you are a regular contributor to the fair pole, and if you are not, what the fuck is wrong with you, Guyswithadream has a huge man crush on Phelps. Hey who wouldn’t right? Guy is a freak, but I’m going to play devils advocate here which always leads to great fun.


you touch?

you touch?


Do you care that he won 8 gold medals? Really do you care? I am happy for him sure, but I would 100 percent rather “The Redeem Team” (btw that slogan sounds like something Home Depot would pitch during a backyard home makeover sale) win the Gold over Phelps’ 8 medals.

I just don’t really care. Olympics are so 1500. We get all involved for two weeks and then one week later we could care less. If I saw Michael Phelps at a bar in December I would be excited, but it would last all of three minutes.

It’s like when McDonalds brings back the McRib. Sure he is getting some mad tail, but I think I would much rather be lets say Evan Langoria of the Tampa Bay Rays.

Guy is 23, good lucking, playing in Florida totally away from the press, and probably bangs a new Florida hottie every day. No one has to know. No one has to care. Everyone gets to be happy. Phelps can go on endorsing and he will make his cash-Visa, Speedo, Omega, and for some odd reason Rosetta Stone speech-and don’t even fucking tell me he used it to learn Chinese…I mean how much could he have possibly made for that?

Do they have money for ads? 3-4 Susan B Anthony’s is my call. So Micheal Phelps your life is good ya, but trust me guys, there are plenty of dudes I’d rather be. Yes Michel Phelps is one of them…ahhh sad


her? no sex, just head

her? no sex, just head


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