Say It Ain’t So: The Dark Knight Beats His Mother!

Oh man, this is too good to be true. The Dark Knight himself, Christian Bale, was arrested yesterday in London on charges of assault and battery. The purported victims? His own mother and sister!!!!

As everyone knows by now, Bale’s new movie recently set the all-time box-office record for a single weekend. This begs the question: Has anyone ever gone from hot to cold so quickly? Lets take a look at some other notable cautionary tales:

Len Bias: The night he was picked #2 overall by the defending champion Boston Celtics in the 1986 NBA Draft, Bias overdosed on cocaine and died.

Floyd Landis: Won the Tour de France in 2006. It was revealed soon after that Landis used the juice and he was subsequently stripped of his title.

Mike Tyson: The undisputed heavyweight champion at the time, he was arrested in 1992 and convicted of rape. Not to be racist or anything, but without knowing any facts of the case I can still say with certainty that he was rightfully found guilty.

O.J. Simpson: Played golf everyday and slept with hot white women for a solid 10+ years. He was then arrested in 1994 on murder charges, but was ultimately acquitted. While he most definitely “did it,” he was let off the hook in a grand conspiracy to appease black people over slavery, Jim Crowe, crack and AIDS.

JonBenet Ramsey: A beauty queen at age 6, she was raped, murdered and dismembered by her own father (yeah, I said it).

I wish I killed her

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