Forgotten Onion Article of the Week

Burundi Beef Council: ‘Please Send Beef’

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28429

Imagined Rick Reilly Teaser Headline of the Week on ESPN.com:

In this small town, football isn’t just everything, its the only thing. So why are they trying to take it away? Two words: rickshaw rape.
http://sports.espn.go.com/keyword/search?searchString=rick_reilly&rT=sports

I’m Thinking I Might Take That New Chick From Logistics

During the July 4th, 2008 Yankees – Red Sox game at Yankee Stadium, Kevin Youkilis hit a ball that, for a moment, was resting on top of the fence. Seen above is one Red Sox fan’s paralyzed reaction. Here is what may have been going through his mind:
A. Jagerbombs. Jagerbombs. Jagerbombs.
B. [...]